Menopause and Marriage: Why Men Need to Step Up

This is a MAJOR frustration in my household. I speak to other half about stepping up and doing his bit as, since starting peri-menopause I'm not just tired, I'm physically exhausted - and with 2 kids, a dog and a full time job, I just cant do it all.

I speak to him - he steps up for a day or two, but then I'm back to doing it all alone again.  He's 52, you'd think he'd know better?!?!? I can feel myself drifting away from him.

Menopause and Marriage: Why Men Need to Step Up and How to Start the Conversation

Menopause is a major life transition, bringing physical, emotional, and mental changes that can be overwhelming. Yet, while women navigate hot flashes, mood swings, and exhaustion, many men remain unaware or unsure of how to help. The truth is, menopause isn’t just a ‘women’s issue’—it’s a relationship issue. When men step up and support their partners, they strengthen their relationship, ease the burden, and create a deeper emotional connection.

Why Men Need to Step Up

For many women, menopause feels isolating. The combination of physical discomfort and emotional turbulence can leave them feeling distant, frustrated, and unheard. When their partner doesn’t acknowledge what’s happening or doesn’t offer support, that distance can grow, leading to resentment and even relationship breakdowns.

 

Emotional Support Matters: Many women report feeling misunderstood or alone during menopause. A supportive partner who listens and reassures can make a huge difference.

Physical & Mental Exhaustion Is Real: Hormonal changes cause extreme fatigue, brain fog, and even depression. Household tasks and daily responsibilities can feel overwhelming.

Intimacy Can Shift: Decreased libido, discomfort, and mood swings can change a couple’s dynamic. Open conversations can help navigate these changes without feelings of rejection.

Menopause Can Strengthen or Weaken a Relationship: How a man responds during this time determines whether his partner feels valued or neglected.

 

 

So what can men do to help???

 

Supporting a partner through menopause is about stepping up, not stepping away:

Offer Help Without Waiting to Be Asked

Instead of a vague “Let me know if you need anything,” take the initiative:

“I’ll take over cooking a few nights a week.”

“Why don’t you take some time for yourself while I handle the school runs?”

“How about we go to your doctor’s appointment together?”

 

Educate Yourself

Menopause is not just about hot flashes—it impacts sleep, mood, memory, weight, and more. Taking time to learn about it shows that you care. Consider listening to a podcast, reading an article, or attending a doctor’s appointment together:

 

Keep the Conversation Going

Menopause isn’t a one-time chat—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins can make a world of difference:

“How have you been feeling this week?”

“Is there anything I can do differently to support you?”

“I read something about menopause today, and it made me think of you.”